Tuesday, March 07, 2017

Opinion: And Bitchy Goes Some Single Mothers!


If you've ever date a single mother or married to one, may be then, you can be able to relate with some of the insights I'm about to share concerning them.

And if not, you might want to avail yourself this window of opportunity to understanding what dating or marrying one entails.

Bet you, you just might be better off with it than without it.

It'd, however, be so unfair on my part to generalize this bitchy unleashed, and conclude before the facts are in that single mothers are generally a terrible bunch.

After all I'm about settling down with one. And I wouldn't think twice if ask to do it a thousand times.

Quite frankly, there are a few exceptional ones who've gained appreciable adjustment, and will put to shame many of our so call wife material singles ladies any day.

Personally, I've knowingly unknowingly crushed on a few in time past, with bitter endings to say the least; so I've quite an experience to share when it comes to their sweetness or bitchiness particularly.

Indeed, the population of single mothers in our society is on the rise due to a number of causes which includes- reckless sexual lifestyles, some by choice, death of spouse, divorce among others

But for the purpose of this write-up, distinction of any kind won’t be entertained.

Different reasons also attract men- single or married- to single mothers.

Some do just for the fun of it. And some for the seriousness it deserves when going out with a woman for that matter.

But whatever the reason, the catch is that it's always laid with more thorns than roses.

For instance, while some single mothers do not think of their situation as something to be ashamed of; some do think it is and make efforts to hide it.

It's either they out-rightly lied about their status or give a false figure as regards the number of children they have brought through.

So, many a single guys have dated and even married single mothers with as many as three, four or five kids unknowingly depending on how attentive they were to their looks or how generous nature is to them.

But the experience before and afterwards is usually a mix bag of demeaning expectations and respect from and for their new male suitors.

When the truth eventually comes to light, it's not uncommon to hear quick repartees such as:  "is single motherhood a disease?", particularly if there were attempts to detract from their marital value.

While nobody in his or her right senses would say such a thing, the truth remains that attitudes of some singles mothers almost with certainty make it look like one.

THE BITCHY ONSET:

From what I know, most single mothers put themselves in the mess they are in, but won't just accept the blame.

Instead, all they do is blame it on their once upon a time opportunistic sexual co-travellers now on the run. And likewise ever ready to transfer the latent aggression on the next man like he's the real offender.

Except for a few who're either divorcees or whose spouses are late; many go out of their ways to keep pregnancies for guys (rich or poor) who either won't accept them nor ready nor have the means to take responsibility for.

Foregoing the abortion alternative which would have saved them all the headaches that are lying in wait for them.

In most cases, as if that's not bad enough, they spent much of their time lamenting, sulking and keeping needless malice with the guys who aren't there to support or show them or their babies the love they so much crave for.

To get back at the guys in question, single mothers deliberately deploy energies to poisoning their babies' minds towards the disappeared men by telling them half truths and exaggerated tales of his wrongdoings which are most likely to be swallowed hook, line and sinker by the gullible children.

But sometimes we do have incredulous children who either questioned or ignored their mothers' vindictive plots.

All they want is to reunite with their fathers no matter how grievous are the romantic crimes they have allegedly committed.

As such when they're grown up, some indeed do deny their fathers who would later seek them out after much of the upbringing has been done or go in search of them because friends and colleagues are flaunting theirs and can't keep up with social stigma of being labelled bastard.

It's quite common to hear single mothers demand the new men in their lives to unconditionally love them and their children as precondition for playing dating ball or agreeing to marry them..

A demand I consider insulting to the sensibility of the real men who condescended to being their partners.

Which might be difficult if not impossible where we have ill-mannered stepson(s) or stepdaughter(s) to deal with.

Something they couldn't demand on the other guys now at large who put them in the family ways.

Even in marriage, scolding the child (ren) in question even mildly might be misinterpreted to mean high-handiness or hatred for them because you're not their biological fathers.

Not doing so at all is also not without its own criticism or backlash if you like especially if its so obvious a deviant act has been committed.

The man is most likely to be accused of negligence or lack of interest which would not be if the child is or the children were his.

By and large single mothers are unduly touchy, rigidly selfish, even easily pick quarrel when its comes to how men and stepfathers generally relate with or treat their two legged upstarts.

It's not even out place to see these child (ren) grow up with great dislike for their stepfathers as if they're the reason for their predicament.

Even when genuine, deliberate sacrificial efforts have been made to seeing that they turn out well, we still have instances of ingratitude from many.

Every default financial or otherwise is viewed as deliberate callousness of the stepfathers.

Perhaps, if you’re thinking of stepping into a relationship or marrying a single mother these are some of the banana peels or opalaba (broken glasses) that lay up the winding path. So, If you feel up to it, good luck! If not, a wise decision too!

But be sure in all circumstances single mothers generally can prove to be quite a handful spitefully if you’re not emotionally wired up to cope with some of the messy challenges that come with sticking around them.

And above all, you might be required at great personal discomfort to help shove out some or all of their existential filths and self inflicted miseries for a smooth fruitful togetherness.
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Talk Soon..       






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