Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Relationshiop: Polygamous blues: why women should carry the blame



Since God knows when, men generally are regarded as polygamous by nature through whom the saying "variety is the spark of life" found its most ruthless exponent.

And that such 'goddess as a woman' never truly wants a rival.

At the slightest beckon of opportunity, the belief continues, a man would not hesitate to lay up in his household a consortium of choice women to satisfy his many needs
as may be dictated by changing time and season.

With avalanche of evidence to the contrary, however, even in biblical times, popular marital culture has maintain its disapproval stance of polygamy as a cultural anomaly and putting a stamp of approval on the idea of one man one woman despite its many social implications.

Whereas it takes two to tango, and more so despite the preponderance of women population to men today accurately predicted in the bible; nobody as yet is seeing the difficult choices men have had to make since perhaps the beginning of time at reducing the natural occurrence of rising population of single ladies in the society as a responsible favour done humanity.

Instead, increasing incidences of polygamous blues have often been blame on the man.

In Africa for instance and Nigeria in particularly, nothing is as anathematized as being a single, ladies especially, beyond certain age.

It's equally a devotion to evil of sort the occurrence of single motherhood, even by its trigger of human maladjustment, though things are rapidly changing but not without occasional paroxysm of abuses from some denizen of opposition movement.

But where lies, if I may ask, a man's fault for deciding to bring in one more out of the sea of willing single ladies out there to be his second or third wife as the case may be? None at least as far as reason is concerned.

In most cases, it's probably a decision taken with the best of intentions and not out of the many flimsy excuses that abound.

A lot of evils have been attributed to the practice of polygamy in Nigeria for which women are solely responsible.

One is the never ending fetish meltdowns among the numerous wives with the sole aim of ensuring they have the ears of the man and final; and as well appropriating as it were successes or benefits of all kinds to their children to the detriment of others.

Another is the behind the scene reign of suspicion towards the action and inaction of one another.

Now it's the men's fault that women who come to marital equity always don't come with clean hands.

Instead, they come swift and sometime subtly with baggage of experiences, hidden agenda, untempered jealousy, beliefs, and other forms of injurious odds and ends thereby creating an atmosphere of sustain commotion in the family.

It's for this reason the Yorubas liken 'polygamous household' to psychiatry home with its frequent melee of violent altercations..

For instance, how come a single lady who had for elective succour a married man for husband; but rather than extending a hand of love and fellowship to the first wife or wives as the case may be decided to war deliberately to unseat them in pursuit of a destructive selfish agenda.

Everywhere you look these days the situation is such that women are willfully throwing spanners in the works of polygamy as a marital alternative; and yet tongue- in-cheek turning around to label it evil and impracticable

Yet out there are melancholic many who can't find single men to marry but perpetually remain discouraged from taking the option of marrying a married man.

ADDENDUM: To extend the argument further, there is another way in which women out there create a hypocritical paradox. And that is by making enemies of their daughters-in-laws; yet hoping and praying the same don't happen to their own daughters when they eventually get married into other families.

Your proverbial take away for today: "In-laws are a cult of no nonsense people, and will not take disrespectful antics from nobody"

















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