Sex, no doubt, is a primal act that is actively involved in by almost all humanity except a very few who are exempted either by reasons of religious allegiance or congenital disability.
Take it or leave it, it is certainly one of the most discussed topics of all time whether in private or public domain because of its defining roles in human existence.
While it exists primarily for reproductive purpose; it has also been found to possess recreational or healthy attributes valuable to human beings.
It is likewise viewed in many quarters to be the exclusive reserve of married adults; yet all around us evidence abound to indicate the contrary and its attendant side effects.
Which bring us to the topic of today, premarital sex: to be or not to be?
Premarital sex, defined, is any sexual activity consensual or not that preceded marriage. Again, we are speaking here in the strict sense of marriage between members of the opposite sex and not any of the anarchistic options out there.
Though seriously frowned at by many of the world religions; with the exemption perhaps of say the grail message having earnestly listened to its readings and interpretations on the radio. The grail message from what I have gathered does not view premarital sex as sinful provided there is love between the two parties.
The Christian faith on the other hand sees it as an act of fornication and a disobedience to God's law concerning sexual matters and subsequently discourages it. To it, it is another evidence of growing immorality in our world today just like pornography, adultery, gay marriage, rape etc.
But like many things in life with disadvantages, premarital sex is certainly not without its advantages.
But first, let us look at some of the disadvantages.
Among others, premarital sex can lead to problem of unwanted pregnancy, increase risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), increase cases of single motherhood, deaths through complications arising from abortion which may lead to inability or difficulty in conceiving later in life as well.
Not forgetting also the compulsive onset the first incidence of abortion usually triggers among teenagers.
While these are indeed some of the sordid side effects of premarital sex, certainly other cause(s) can be introduce say the use of condom or in extreme case abstinence to neutralize these negative side effects.
This point is by no means a frontal attempt to justify or excuse premarital sex thereby tacitly creating the impression that it is the way to go.
And once the risks of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are removed, it automatically means cases of single mothers or deaths or inability to have babies later in life are effectively addressed.
Now the advantages:
Today, sexual incompatibility is one of the reasons for many problematic marriages.
Sexual incompatibility is by the way of one partner finding it difficult to measure up to the sexual demands of the other which in most cases have led to incidence of adultery from the dissatisfied partner where nothing is urgently done to address the concerns of the partner in question.
As a consequence, we have had situations of wives killing their spouses to register their displeasure over their extremely large sexual appetite. And husbands likewise killing their wives for leading adulterous lifestyle though they are unable to sexually satisfy them.
As milder consequences on the other hand, we have seen cases of mutually agreed divorces arising from unresolved issue of sexual incompatibility.
And for an icing on the cake of this marital blues, there are women who have divorced their husbands or cheated on them on the ground of having a smaller-than-usual genital or suffering from chronic erectile dysfunction otherwise known as impotence.
Honestly, this would not have happened had couples not abide completely to zero tolerance for premarital sex as imposed by some of the faiths around.
While not arguing in favour of premarital sex or against it, my point here as always is that intending couples must find innovative ways to deal with the challenge of sexual incompatibility in marriages and save themselves the embarrassment, hurts and torture arising from it.
There is essentially the urgent needs for those going into marriage to try and test the waters before plunging in or else they risk getting caught up in unforeseen sexual flood or ebbs as the case may be which they are completely unaware of. It is necessary good to know if partners are compatible before settling down as husband and wife.
God indeed is good in all situations and everything he has perfectly made many would chorus but when it comes to sexual matters even the holy nuns would struggle to cope with lack of sexual satisfaction in marriage.
Definitely, premarital sex cannot be said to be completely evil in the light of human nature which insatiably seek sensual pleasure. What matters therefore is the attitudes and approaches to it.
Certainly, structured engagements and not abstinence is the best answer to the controversy of premarital sexual fix if we are to finally lay to rest the destructive ghost of sexual incompatibility in marriage.