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Monday, April 22, 2019

Love tango and s*xual favouritism


This image is only representational 

I’m definitely going to be up in arms here against some categories of people/professionals whom I consider as hiding under the guise of feminism yet sometimes blinded to what the issues are and continue to function as gender biased marriage counselors.

The last time I checked, love is a feeling of great fondness or enthusiasm for a person or thing. It makes you want to do anything for the recipient of your love and vice versa.

Traditionally, when two people of opposite sex exhibit a great fondness for one another, we say they’re in love. It could be for real. It could also be for the game of pleasure.

Importantly like I said earlier, it involves sharing. That's give and take of material and non-material things of which s*xual intimacy ranks higher.

Coincidentally, we’re in the Easter season when all humanity, especially Christians, remember the great sacrifice made by our Lord Jesus Christ for our salvation. It is yet the greatest demonstration of love by God for the sinful earthly man. He gave up his only begotten son that man can be reconciled to him.

By then, except we want to look away from the hard truth, we know that when two people are in a formal courtship, s*x must be involved. Its morality or otherwise is a topic for another day.

Like chocolate, s*x, therefore, can be categorized as the most sticky item in a relationship. It helps couples and people entangled in a love tango to bond effectively. And we all love it, right! Except for the Eunuchs by birth or choice! Or those who have sworn an oath to celibacy like the priests.

In addition to being a dependable means for recreation, s*x is essentially the traditional route for procreation.

Otherwise, we wouldn’t be having the park called earth teeming with human kinds running into billions and still counting.

This is a sufficient proof humanity has been very active sexually. But that’s not where I’m going.

Over time, I’ve heard on various radio and television programs dedicated to relationships where guests talk about tips and tricks to help dating people know who’s and who’s not going to marry them especially concerning the ladies.

I recently watched a Vblog where a female relationship counselor talked about a number of things which if a man do could be an indication that he’s not likely to marry the lady he’s courting.

But there’s a part which catches my attention. Everything starts well and going well until it reaches that point. It goes roughly thus: ‘if a man wants to do something like marrying a lady he’s dating nothing in this world should hinder him’. And I’m like is that for real? She also added that it’s only when a man is not interested in a lady that he starts to make excuses.

The touchy aspect for me was when she said most men chicken out of marriage at the last minute after the ladies must have cooked for them, do their laundry and even gave them S*X. The catchword here is S*X.

To me, this clearly is another annoying attempt to portray ladies generally as s*xually favoring men. More so, it’s part of an ongoing attempt to create and reinforce the erroneous impression that ladies have over time been too s*xually generous to the men as if in most cases the act is not consensual and mutually beneficial to the parties. And 
I’ve heard this warped narrative on a number of occasions prior to that.

On each of the occasion, the whole scenario is like the moment a lady goes under the sheet with a man, even when she approves of it, the lady is condemned to have become something like a husk and she’s destined for the waste bin.  Like something precious has been taken off her and she’s now totally worthless.

Not surprising though, many of them are buying into such nonsense. No wonder many of them become so mournful after every botched relationship like they have been conquered and exploited by philistinic intruders, though sensually speaking, they’re as satisfied as the men they want to be crucified.

The question then is what happens to the capacity of a lady the mature one at that to completely own herself and gives herself to whom she feels is worthy without a needless sense of guilt or of being used and dumped. Every lady owes herself such capacity. And if you don’t yet have it, it’s never too late to go develop it.

The point I’m making is every s*xual act should be consented to by people in a relationship and not forced and must not be tied to a reward like marriage because things do happen. In the long run, it may be that you’re not compatible with the man and will you then say just because he has slept with you he must marry you. I bet that’s courting disaster.

While it’s difficult I think it’s not impossible. The best thing to do in a relationship abstains from irresponsible act like sleeping with every man that comes your way under some questionable triggers. Ladies, own yourself and act rationally.

Ladies should get it off their mind that they’re doing the men favor like some counselors do want to have us believe. You must not also be seen as being s*xually generous to a man all because you want him to take you down the aisle. Agreed, sometimes it works but most of the time it doesn’t.

There’s nothing like a lady giving s*x to a man. It’s not a dole out of favouritism by ladies because it takes two to tango. It happens randomly or otherwise between people of opposite s*x and so far it is not forced it is permitted. Counselors, therefore, should stop pushing the boundary of this misinformation.    
  


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